The Toronto Star: My New Business Venture

This morning I'm applying to the Wynne government for a multi-million dollar grant to start my own business. I shouldn't have any problem getting it as it's a recycling business.

I'm opening a plant to recycle the Toronto Star into toilet paper.

It's a win-win situation for everyone. Trucks will show up at the Star in the morning to pick up bundles of their latest issue which will then be brought directly to my plant where they'll be made into toilet paper, thus allowing the Star to keep calling itself the most widely read newspaper in Canada. Or maybe they should change that to the most widely used newspaper in Canada.
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