I promised readers that I would go back in time to the 1990s when I was in high school so that I could disturb people and lose twitter followers...
I held membership in the Liberal Party and then the NDP. Maybe I was making up for my past political affiliations. There are all sorts of different parties in Canada.
When the Heritage Front was active I was a fucked up kid. My dad had died when I was 9 and my mom was a schizophrenic. I thought I knew a lot about politics but I didn't. When Preston Manning's Reform Party swept Canada I was a Red Tory.
I knew who Ezra Levant and Warren Kinsella were when I was in high school and I didn't like either of them.
I wasn't old enough to vote when Kim Campbell was PM.
And then suddenly there were no Red Tories and I had to join the Young Liberals.
The thing about growing up in Ontario is you feel an overwhelming sense that the place has no culture. Many in Ontario felt that they have more in common with Quebec than the west.
I have to write an ebook and call it: "How Warren Kinsella Caused Teen Suicide In The 1990s And Almost Destroyed Canada."
Like the rest of Ontario I was in Montreal in 1995. Playing my part in adscam I was handing out little Canadian flag lapel pins.
The 1990s were so disgusting that Jean Chretien was the Prime Minister. He was a stroke victim who kept saying: "They made fun of the way that I look. They made fun of the way that I talk."
Jean Chretien was the most hated man in Quebec. Federalism almost lost that referendum when anybody but Jean could have won.
Either Kim Campbell, Jean Charest, and Paul Martin would have been great.
People in Quebec hate Chretien because during the night of the long knives he was the one who pulled out the long knife and stabbed Rene Levesque in the back.
Rene Levesque had sometimes been the most hated man in Quebec but after he died he became their patron saint.
They tried to charge Chretien with murder but they couldn't because legend has it Levesque's body disappeared in a puff of DuMaurier cigarette smoke.
Ten years ago I thought that nobody named, 'Trudeau' would ever have any chance of winning any votes in Quebec ever again.
But then culturless Canadians decided that they wanted their own JFK junior.
What we need to do is build a giant statue of Chretien stabbing Levesque with Pierre in the background egging him on.