It's Oktoberfest!


It's Oktoberfest. I am currently drunk out of my mind. I was just in downtown Kitchener stumbling around and saying: "Listen buddy: I know Warren Kinsella from the internet."

Kitchener is a town founded by Germans. It's name used to be Berlin but it was changed for reasons I forget.

I was in Guelph once which is a town near Kitchener founded by the British. I was at a coffee shop. I overheard two elderly men talking about how a black guy had been murdered in KW ten years ago.

It had been a gang-related killing.

They said that there's a lot of racism in Kitchener because that's where all the Germans live.

The reason that there isn't much racism in Guelph is because in the 1990s Guelph was 110% white.

But this is the last injustice that Kitchener will face.

I have an idea. I will do something that has never been done before. I will start the German Worker's Party.

I will give speeches at local taverns, write a book about my struggle, and then there will be some sort of a beer hall putsch where I become the emphatic leader of Kitchener which I'll rename New Berlin and we'll have a snappy flag and thousands of people dressed in black uniforms.

Then there'll be some sort of blitzkrieg where we storm into Guelph and annex it because we need more living space for all of the immigrants that come to Kitchener.


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