Disclaimer: This screenplay is a work of satire like, 'The Canadian Air Farce,' 'Stephen Colbert,' or Olivia Chow's election campaign. (Go back to part 1).
EXT. DOWNTOWN TORONTO - DAY
WARREN KINSELLA is walking down a street. PEOPLE pause and stare at him. Many say...
PEDESTRIAN: That's Bill Murray!
PEDESTRIAN #2: Ghostbusters!
PEDESTRIAN #3: I loved Groundhog Day!
KINSELLA: (angrily) I am not Bill Murray.
A limo pulls up to the curb. The rear window slides down and a white glove beckons Kinsella. We hear whispering from the rear seat as he leans forward to listen.
KINSELLA: Yes sir...Anything you say sir...I'll try to do better next time...
After a pause he asks...
KINSELLA: Say, would you like to come over to my house for dinner sometime?
Now we see EZRA LEVANT in the rear seat of the limo looking absolutely disgusted.
LEVANT: No, I do not want to come over to your house for dinner sometime!
The limo drives off. Kinsella continues to walk as people say...
PEDESTRIAN #4: Welcome to Toronto, Mr. Murray!
PEDESTRIAN #5: I loved you in that thing you did with that girl from the commercial!
PEDESTRIAN #6: Can I have an autograph?
KINSELLA: (angrily) I am not Bill Murray! Why doesn't anybody recognize me?
VOICE: Hey Kinsella!
Kinsella turns. Now we see 100 TALL REDHEADED MEN emerge from an alley. They look pissed.
REDHEAD #1: We're the redheads that were in school before September 11th when it was all about the holocaust and Nazis.
REDHEAD #2: We'd like to talk to you about computer science majors and their 14-year-old girlfriends!
REDHEAD #3: Did you read my Blogspot blog?
REDHEAD #4: Why did most of the good-looking blond guys go to community college? And also the black guys because I'm not a racist!
REDHEAD #5: I'm a racist: I'm all Nazied out!
Kinsella looks scared. He turns and runs.
REDHEAD #6: There's more redheaded kids in commercials these days! We're getting more and more popular! One day people will listen to us!
(On to Part 6).