Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 3


I have to continue my screenplay only for the reason that every time I mention, 'Warren Kinsella,' he has to read my blog because he'd like to sue me. And I desperately need that one guy to read my blog because my Alexa ranking is that low.

Ever since I wrote all of those posts about good-looking blond guys that I went to school with and how high school in the 1990s was all about the holocaust, people have stopped reading my blog. Especially the Jews.

I'm not necessarily an anti-semite. I even watch, 'The Source,' with Ezra Levant. I agree with 80% of what Ezra says except that whole East Indians aren't Muslims so lets flood the country with even more East Indians show he did.

And now I present part 3 of my epic screenplay. (Part 1).

EXT. WOODS - DUSK

TWO TEENS Are in a jeep. The driver turns the high beams on.

Now we see that there is a clearing among the trees. More TEENS drinking beer emerge from the trees. Soon there are over forty. A few more cars pull up as they form a circle in the field. A figure steps forward chugging a beer. It is PETER MANSBRIDGE. Throwing the can aside, he rips off his shirt and yells...

MANSBRIDGE: Okay fucker: Let's get this on!

Now we see LLOYD ROBERTSON emerge from the crowd. He is pulling up his sleeves to get ready for the fight.

ROBERTSON: I'll show you you dirty public broadcasting buffoon!

MANSBRIDGE: Fuck you!

Robertson charges at Mansbridge but Mansbridge is too quick. Within seconds he has Robertson in a choke hold. He swings him around and throws him into the crowd who pushes him back. Now Mansbridge punches Robertson and he falls to the ground, passed out.

Everyone starts chanting...

TEENS: (in unison) Mansbridge, Mansbridge, Mansbridge...

And they circle him to congratulate him. One hands him a beer and they walk off into the woods. But one of the teens stays behind. He sits down and pulls out a notepad and begins to write.

Now we see that he is not a teen but 22 minutes host SHAUN MAJUMDER...

MAJUMDER: (ranting to himself): Dear Warren Kinsella. I just got a printer that prints on toilet paper so that I could put your blog to better use. I don't know why I hate you so much. I just do. I had that dream again last night where I see you walking down the street, trip and fall over and, instead of helping you up I laugh and spit on you and walk away...

Suddenly there's the blare of headlights. Majumder looks scared. He gets up and runs, forgetting his notepad.

A black sedan pulls up. Bob and Jim get out.

BOB: Did we miss the fight?

They see Lloyd Robertson stagger off into the woods by himself.

BOB: (disappointed) Oh, we missed the fight.

Now Bob sees the notepad. He picks it up.

BOB: What's this?

(Go on to part 4).
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