Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella - Part 2


Last month the three regular readers of this blog were treated to the beginnings of what will be one of the greatest movies in Canadian history.

Now I present part 2 of the screenplay I'm writing...

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

An Emergency Task Force pulls up in 6 black SUV's. Within moments 24 people dressed in black bullet-proof gear are pointing sub-machine guns in every direction.

EXT. SIDE DOOR OF BUILDING

A battering ram is used to open it and the SWAT team pours in.

INT. THE SET OF MANSBRIDGE ONE ON ONE

Peter Mansbridge is interviewing Margaret Atwood.

MANSBRIDGE: I once stopped at this donut joint in Kapuskasing and the Boston Cream there was unimaginable.

ATWOOD: True. I always felt that despite Hemingway's lack of style he was a more complicated writer than Faulkner.

MANSBRIDGE: I could go for a Maple Walnut. Or even a Honey Crueller right now.

ATWOOD: That's just it. Nobody reads the classics anymore. Especially the Canadian ones.

MANSBRIDGE: I'd scarf down any pastry with glaze on it. I really need a donut.

ATWOOD: They did say that about Margaret Laurence. But still she persevered.

Suddenly a can is thrown near the set and tear gas starts to fill the room. Mansbridge looks pissed. He stands and rips off his mic.

MANSBRIDGE: Oh fuck: This again.

INT. CSIS INTEROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

MANSBRIDGE sits at a table across from BOB and JIM. He is dressed in an orange prison jump suit and has his arms and legs shackled together.

BOB: (angrily) Okay, Mansbridge...

He slams a file 200 pages thick on the table top.

BOB: We've had our eye on you for quite awhile. Bengazi, airline crashes, plagues. You seem to know a lot before it happens.

MANSBRIDGE: Look you fuckhead. I'm the guy who reads the news every night. I say what the fucking teleprompter tells me what to say.

Jim takes out a box of Boston Creams and starts eating them. Mansbridge looks hungry.

BOB: What do you know about any person or persons who are trying to harm our favourite actor Bill Murray? And who the hell is Warren Kinsella?

MANSBRIDGE: Okay fuckface: Give me one of those fucking donuts and I'll fucking tell you everything I know.

The scene ends with Bob releasing Mansbridge from his cuffs and as he slowly eats a Boston Cream we hear this music...



On to part 3.
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