The past week saw this dramatic interchange...
All of this drama caused me to leave a comment on Warren's blog talking about how I, myself, fantasize about throwing a pie in his face.
He failed to publish it.
But Warren: I thought we were friends!
Then I had an idea.
For a movie.
I will spend the next 6 months writing it and then sell it to the CBC for $80.
I call it: 'Threatening Letters To Warren Kinsella.'
Here's what I have so far...
EXT. PUBLIC PARK - DAY
22 Minutes host SHAUN MAJUMDER sits at a park bench. He nervously looks around making sure that he is alone. Then he pulls out a pen and note pad and begins to write furiously.
SHAUN (ranting to himself): Dear Warren Kinsella. You have poo for brains and I hate you so much. I laughed so hard when you ran in North Vancouver and lost. Just because your band sucks doesn't give you a right to take it out on the rest of us...
INT. TIM HORTONS - DAY
BOB and JIM, two CSIS agents, sit at a table eating donut after donut. They are both overweight and middle aged. Bob, who fancies himself as James Bond, wears a finely tailored suit. Jim dons a Maple Leaf sweater and a Blue Jays hat.
Bob's cell RINGS and he swiftly answers.
BOB: Yeah...Uh-huh...Okay...We're on it.
He puts the phone away and turns to Jim.
BOB: Warren Kinsella just received another anonymous threatening letter. 8th one this week.
JIM: Who's Warren Kinsella?
BOB: He's that guy from Sun News. I think he fills in for Ezra Levant on, 'The Source,' whenever Ezra is sick.
JIM: Oh...I'm still drawing a blank.
BOB: He's the guy who looks exactly like Bill Murray. It's eerie: They're like doppelgangers.
Jim looks stunned.
JIM: You mean Bill Murray's life is in danger?
Now Bob looks stunned. They both suddenly get up and run for the exit. As they leave Bob yells...
BOB: We're coming to save you, Bill Murray!
And there you have it. The beginnings of a cinematic masterpiece.
@CBC Do you still accept screenplays in tweet form? — ...Justin, Justin! (@00_HoneyCruller) July 26, 2014On to Part 2.