Canadians Find Out Flying The Pride Flag Changes Nothing

Gentlemen, we have a problem: Despite municipalities across Canada raising the Rainbow Flag in support of our gay Olympic athletes, the Ruskies remain undeterred.

Recent reports are that the General Secretary, Mikhail Nikita Putin, has just banned gay people from showing up in his country and adopting children. Stunned, I asked my top advisers: 'What? Don't they watch, 'Modern Family,' in Russia?'

And with the Olympics now in full swing we just received this off the teletype and our analysts don't know what to make of it...

The Soviets are clearly giving us confusing and erotic signals [cough] [cough] that is to say if you find Putin's head painted on a naked girl erotic...Which some of us, infact, do.

Moving on, don't the Ruskies understand that the only reason we let them have the Olympics in the first place was to liberalize them up? It was supposed to work. And as Canadians are preoccupied with gay rights in Russia, the Belgians have just passed legislation making euthanasia for children legal.

And the Iranians have just hanged another poet:

And another Christian has committed (police assisted) suicide in prison in Pakistan:

And at least 70 people were hacked to death in the Congo to spread fear among the population:

And here's to Islamic Valentine's Day:

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