“I know what you’re thinking, Obama. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

-Kim Jong-un’s latest news address

Instead of destroying America in a nuclear inferno Kim Jong-un has decided to steal all of the U.S.’s playground slides. This dastardly madman cannot be stopped!
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