Monday, January 31, 2011

Tory Attack Ads Fight On!


An ad on the Conservative website was pulled after only 24 hours because a few weak kneed Harper boosters felt that it had gone too far. I didn't have an opportunity to see the ad being drunk all weekend, but I say the ad probably didn't go far enough!

FACT: Michael Ignatiff owns a house in France!

FACT: I bet if Michael Ignatieff had the choice between eating steak or salad, he'd have the salad!

FACT: On a recent trip to Europe Michael Ignatieff rented a Volvo when he could have had a Ford. You know the kinds of people who drive Volvo's don't you: People who are in bed with the NDP!

FACT: Michael Ignatieff likes America! While it may be true that Stephen Harper also likes America, Harper likes the good parts like New York and Washington. Ignatieff likes places like Vermont and Maine!


If you vote Liberal, you have no idea who you're really voting for.

100 Dead Dogs


Police are investigating whether a dog sled tour company in Whistler had 100 dogs killed last year. This was only discovered after a worker filed a claim for post-traumatic stress compensation after killing some of the dogs. The Vancouver Humane Society is calling for a ban on dog sled tours. It apparently happened because business had been slow.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Canada to Become Clothing Optional?


Noted attorney Clayton Ruby is taking on the right for Canadians to be clothes free. It's unconstitutional that naturists can't bare everything whenever they want. The case will be heard today in an Ontario court. It stems from an anti-textile resort operator named Brian Coldin and the fact that Mr. Coldin has been charged several times for indecency, often for going through drive-throughs in the buff. Mr. Ruby has said that his clients attire was not vulgar as, at least, he was wearing sandals.

Friday, January 21, 2011

If Iggy's ads are going to attack the Harper government's commitment to being a part of the vast U.S. multi billion dollar military complex, the next round of Con ads should look like this...





I like the way she has smoke around her mouth to subliminally show the viewer that she's a pothead.

Libs Fight Back!




Damn it! If only we had those plans that Conservative Diefenbaker had destroyed, we'd be able to put the Avro Arrow back into production and fly it into outer space like in that movie with Dan Aykroyd.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Canada's Last Resort


The Prime Minister's Office has finally released a contingency plan on who will takeover should something ever happen to Stephen Harper. Other countries have a chain of command in case, if they were ever attacked and the leader dies, there is somebody available to launch a counterstrike. Canada has no nuclear weapons to respond with in case such a scenario would ever play out. Now our deterrent is the fact that #3 in line to become defacto PM is John Baird. Rogue states, terrorists, fear us: If you should kill our leader Baird will take control!

Study shows that Justin Bieber not as popular as you think


The Stratford, Ontario, teen aged vocalist does not have fans everywhere. While his base of followers remains teenaged girls, many boys on the other hand are lukewarm to his music. While Peter Mansbridge is obsessed with Biebermania, many other people in the same age category do not know who the Biebs is. But now we are seeing signs of strain coming from the feline community. Many cats downright hate him...

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Slow news day: Page 2 of The National Post has charts about Justin Bieber's new haircut...

Remember when Conrad Black owned The Post? Back then P.2 charts only covered David Frum's hairstyle.

Conservative Attack Ads are Back!



Pointing out that Iggy will make a terrible leader if he can fool Canadians into voting for him, these ads are belittling the Liberal leader all over the place. I don't know that it's fair to quote him on things he's said years ago.

For example:

Iggy once told the CBC that he loves the republic that he lives in. He meant the United States; he wasn't talking about some Soviet Republic. It's common for Canadians, once they get their green card, to call up the CBC and yell, "Loosers, I live in America now and we're number 1!!!"

I'm sure Michael Ignatieff likes Canada. It's just that when he's stateside, he prefers the U.S. better.

Secondly, Iggy once said that the Canadian flag looks like a beer label. He got my attention when he said that. Will he finally become the Prime Minister to make right what once had been made wrong, and give Canadians the dancing bear flag instead of the maple leaf?



Maybe Iggy won't be such a bad Prime Minister, afterall. He just prefers living in the States and doesn't particularly like our flag. And maybe, with that, he speaks to many Canadians.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Canadian Swimsuit!

Chinese Canadians say: 'Go Die Somewhere Else!'


In a bid to raise their property values, some Canadians of Chinese ancestry have put the completion of a Vancouver hospice on hold. It was supposed to be a place where people would spend their last days before passing on. However, concerns were raised over the cultural sensitivity of this as people from China view death differently.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/british-columbia/vancouver-hospice-put-on-hold-over-cultural-sensitivity/article1869613/

But then they have public executions in China when Canada does not. http://asiadeathpenalty.blogspot.com/2008/08/public-executions-in-chinas-olympic.html It's sort of possible that the People's Republic is culturally offensive to Canadians.

Canada Bans Dire Straits!


This song has too many bad words to play on Canadian airwaves. However, until someone launches a complaint about Eminem, he's still allowed. In other news has political correctness put Guy Earle in the stocks yet?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Zealot Grabs at Attention out of Tragedy


Popular Toronto radio host Dean Blundell has talked the band of freaks who call themselves the Westboro Baptist Church out of protesting the funeral of a 9-year-old girl killed during the Arizona shooting rampage. In exchange they received air time to express their views. Blundell has had Shirley Phelps-Roper on before where her rhetoric of hate, death and destruction plays for laughs to the Southern Ontario audience.



Dean Blundell's website: http://www.edge.ca/Blogs/DeansBlog/Home.aspx

Monday, January 10, 2011


6 huge beer vats are currently (and slowly) being moved from Hamilton to the Molson brewery near Pearson Airport.

Reasons for the delay may be because of constant harassment by locals who do not realize that the vats are empty.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Raymond Lavigne may be the luckiest person in Canada!


The former Liberal Senator didn't win the lottery. Instead he got kicked out of caucus pending a fraud investigation. Despite of being accused of all sorts of bamboozling, recently, over a three month period, Lavigne billed taxpayers over $30, 000 in expenses he incurred living in Ottawa. This is in addition to his $132 000 salary.  And he gets all that and he doesn't even have to go to any boring Liberal Party meetings!

Stop playing the lottery! Put all of your hopes in that the PM may one day appoint you to the Senate!

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/canada/Verdict+suspended+senator+case+come/4075650/story.html

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Historical novelist Jack Whyte (who is Canadian) is causing debate in the U.K. In doing research for his next book, Whyte has postulated that Robin Hood is really based on Scotland's William Wallace (played by Mel Gibson in the movie, 'Braveheart').

In all of the research that I do writing a high caliber blogspot blog like, 'The Ugly Hockey Sweater,' I've also found that things are not always what they seem. For example, did you know that George Bush's friend Jean Poutine was really former Prime Minister Jean Chretien? I was shocked when I first learned that Dalton McGuinty and Michael Ignatieff aren't the same guy. Furthermore, I have a growing belief that Bonhomme, the snowman guest of honour for Quebec City's Winter Carnival, is really Jacques Parizeau in retirement.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...