Occupy Wall Street Protesters Take Over Kitchener, Ontario!

'Onkle Hans.'
King Street in downtown Kitchener remained closed all weekend as thousands descended onto the city. Probably to confuse law enforcement, demonstrators threw a parade on Monday complete with floats, marching bands, and polka music. I haven't been able to gather what the protesters want so their motives remain unclear. However, I have discovered that their leader is known as, 'Onkle Hans.'

Hans, which is probably an alias, wears a frightening disguise. And his disciples often dress in lederhosen and Bavarian hats with feathers in them. Clad like this they seem like a more fearsome foe than the Black Bloc.

By evening they become a drunken mob swilling Molson Canadian and partaking in such strange rituals like what they call, 'The Chicken Dance.'

People of New York: Your protesters were never as bad as this!

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