United States Teeters On Collapse Because Of Conrad Black's Stern Words

President Obama is probably in a bunker right now deep underground with his top military advisers as they study today's, 'National Post.' Conrad Black has done the unthinkable and switched his allegiances away from the United States back to Canada. Analysts now think that he may have spent 3 A.M. as a British subject but, we have confirmation; we now have it in print: Lord Black will soon grace the True North with his triumphant return!

Lord Black (of Crossharbour) will first go back to a place in Florida known as Coleman (for some reason) where he will lecture and play golf for the next 12 months or so. However, he is jaded by his current duties and obligations that have kept him in America saying that he, "...Will leave the U.S. forever, all passions spent...My affections for it has faded."

It is unclear whether the United States will ever recover from this rebuke.
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