Answering Hate Mail

Anonymous left a remark on my blog post: Say No to Pet Squirrels! which reads, 'Too bad the squirrel didn't bite you bad enough to kill you or at least give you some type of nasty infection. You are a disgusting and stupid person, I hope you die a horrible death.'

Anonymous! What can I say? I wasn't serious when I wrote that! In it I even suggested that people choose alligators as a more suitable pet as a way of promoting my Hubpage article:

Anyway, I can't die a horrible death because I'm immortal. Wishing that on me is pointless. My real name is Cartaphilus and, while legend is that I was cursed with immortality because I heckled Jesus, telling him to hurry up as he dragged the cross, this is largely untrue. Instead, I yelled: "Woops, looks like somebody's having a bad day!"

Being immortal really isn't all that bad. My favourite part was the Dark Ages. Despite what people say about the Dark Ages, they weren't that awful. I made a lot of money. Whenever there was a witch burning or a crusade, I'd be there with a cart yelling: "Roasted squirrels for sale! Get your roasted squirrel here!"

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